Seen: The Crazy Waiter finish the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle in ten minutes.
Heard: (Fran) "Let's run a train on the new girl."
Monday, April 28, 2008
The Crazy Waiter: Part Deux
"Oh this is a first. Three fat chicks and they didn't order three diet cokes."
"How long does it take a 300 pound man to eat a fucking piece of tiramisu?! Just shove it in your mouth, I know you want to!"
"That's what we should ask people at the front door: 'which smell would you prefer? Wet dog, pee or dirty feet?'"
"'Oh, I'm allergic to dust' Go fuck yourself. Go live in a bubble and leave me the hell alone."
"How much would you give me if I threw this tray across the room?"
A girl at Esteban's table leaves her number for him, written on the check. When he shows it to The Crazy Waiter: "Esteban, you can't pay your bills with pussy."
"How long does it take a 300 pound man to eat a fucking piece of tiramisu?! Just shove it in your mouth, I know you want to!"
"That's what we should ask people at the front door: 'which smell would you prefer? Wet dog, pee or dirty feet?'"
"'Oh, I'm allergic to dust' Go fuck yourself. Go live in a bubble and leave me the hell alone."
"How much would you give me if I threw this tray across the room?"
A girl at Esteban's table leaves her number for him, written on the check. When he shows it to The Crazy Waiter: "Esteban, you can't pay your bills with pussy."
Definition of the day:
Fuss (or F.U.S.S.) - n. - stands for Frivolous Unnecessary Sidework Search.
Origin: James. This refers to the end of the night when you have to do closing sidework (i.e. "Cheeses" or "Sugar Caddies"). The search comes when you have to gather certain items from around the entire restaurant and sometimes you just can't find them.
Example: "Now I know we have 30 fucking sugar caddies, but I only have 26. I'm so tired of these damn FUSSes!!!"
Origin: James. This refers to the end of the night when you have to do closing sidework (i.e. "Cheeses" or "Sugar Caddies"). The search comes when you have to gather certain items from around the entire restaurant and sometimes you just can't find them.
Example: "Now I know we have 30 fucking sugar caddies, but I only have 26. I'm so tired of these damn FUSSes!!!"
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