Seen and Heard: 4

Seen: The host Augusten sitting at a table in the back of the private party room alternating between taking bites of Italian bread and taking bites of straight butter from the little wrapped butter chips, which at the moment were too cold to spread properly.

Heard: (note: we have a server named Cherish)
Bartender: (to the Mexican bar back) Can you get me some Cherries?
Bar back: Cherries? She's in the party room. I get her?

Definition of the Day: Same Side Seaters

Same Side Seaters - pl. n. - Two people, usually romantic couples, who sit on the same side of a table that has a booth on one side and a chair on the other, as to be asclosetoeachotheraspossible. The couple is usually either in high school, or middle-aged divorcees on their first date (married people never like to be that close to their spouse).

Usage--
Me: Oh man did you see--
Mark: --table 51? Oh yes. Same side seaters!! Good luck with those douches...

I never really understood this as I prefer, when eating garlic-laden food, to be a good foot and a half away from my dinner companion. Typically SSSes are super cheesy and usually assholes. Why rush to judge you say? Because honestly if you're squeezed in between two other tables just like yours, chances are, you're rubbing up on someone from the next table, which makes them feel awkward. And you don't care. Therefore, you're an asshole.

It finally happened...

That's right. The Crazy Waiter got suspended. I mean, let's face it. It was inevitable. He got caught saying one of his under-his-breath (or in this case, not so much) comments. However, what I suppose was luck, on his part, was the fact that it could have been so much worse. He could have called a customer a cocksucker to his face or punched in a computer monitor (which has also happened at The Restaurant). But no. It was a relatively unremarkable day in the life of TCW. He just happened to get caught. This is how the suspension played out:

TCW: Hi there, how's everyone doing toni--
Man: --Can I have some butter?

::TCW turns to our bus boy Jose and asks him to get some butter for the man.::

::Turns back to the table and takes a drink order, rings them into the computer, and brings them back to the table.::

Man: Did you bring my butter?
TCW: (looks and sees Jose in the server station looking like he's getting butter) It will be over in just a second.

::TCW proceeds to tell the specials when he gets to the last one, Jose has still not returned with the butter::

TCW: And finally this evening we have a surf and turf made with one filet mig--
Man: Can I get that butter?
TWC: (turns, walks away from the table about 3 steps and yells to Jose) Can someone get these people some butter before they have a fucking riot?

And thus, suspended.