Zak

Zak is our dessert guy. He makes all the desserts and coffee drinks. He's Bengali with a thick accent, probably 40 years old and has a pretty substantial superiority complex. See below:

Me: Hi Zak. How are you?
Zak: What do you want Jessica? Coffee?
Me: I don't want anything. Just saying hi.
Zak: No. Whenever people say hi, dey want coffee.
Me: It's 90 degrees out. I don't want coffee.
Zak: Whatevah. People ask me how I am, dey want coffee. People ask "how is your daughta?" dey want dessert.