Sometimes you just gotta put people in their place...
A woman comes in with 5 young girls around 7-years-old. They sit in TJ's section. Woman orders a cosmo and the girls, a pitcher of Shirley Temples. When TJ gets to the table with the drinks...
Woman: Could you please bring us five more martini glasses? The girls want to pretend they have cosmos.
TJ: (looks her straight in the eye; eyebrows raised) I can bring you wine glasses, but I am absolutely unwilling to bring you martini glasses.
"Absolutely unwilling" I love it. While this is pretty brilliant on TJ's part, for having the cojones to say that, I've come up with some other ballsy answers he could have said:
Woman: Could you please bring us five more martini glasses? The girls want to pretend they have cosmos.
TJ: Well I'd like to pretend I'm not an over-worked, under-appreciated server at this shitty restaurant, but I'm not entertaining that fantasy.
Woman: Could you please bring us five more martini glasses? The girls want to pretend they have cosmos.
TJ: Will they pretend they're drunk too? Because that's all we need is slurring, bleary-eyed children falling down the stairs on the way to the bathroom.
Woman: Could you please bring us five more martini glasses? The girls want to pretend they have cosmos.
TJ: Well actually we only have a limited number of martini glasses to go around. So when we run out we have to gather up all of the dirty empty ones from tables and bus stations and rush them back to the old Mexican guy, who gets paid six bucks an hour, and try to explain to him that we need him to limpia those before anything else in his queue. Then we take the freshly-washed martini glasses, now piping hot, back to the bar and put cold water in them, but not too cold or the glasses will crack. Then we are able to use them again to distribute appletinis made with house vodka and the such to obnoxious people just like you. So no. I can't bring you five more martini fucking glasses.
So what did the woman say to TJ's real response?
Woman: Ok.
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