"What's Ranch?!"

As a disclaimer, while my restaurant is in a rather affluent neighborhood, it's casual enough to never attract a single classy person. Ever.

As in many restaurants, most of my co-workers are not "career servers." To many a customer's dismay, we have a plethora other dreams, aspirations, and things to do besides clean up after their pasta-throwing three-year-old.

One such co-worker, a writer, triathlon-er, and all-around smarty (we'll call him TJ), likes to get revenge on the system by putting the occasional customer in their place. Not by being rude, necessarily, but by...well by doing things like this...

Customer: Can I have some ranch dressing? (as a note, we don't have ranch dressing)
TJ: Sorry?
Customer: Ranch dressing?
TJ: I'm sorry, ranch?
Customer: Yeah, for my salad.
TJ: What is "ranch"?
Customer: You know, ranch dressing.
TJ: ::shakes his head confused:: I'm sorry I don't know what that is. Can you describe it? (he tells me later the goal is to get the customer to say the word"tangy")
Customer: You know, it's like creamy...
TJ: -like a balsalmic?
Customer: No like a-
TJ: -Like a dijon vinaigrette?
Customer: ...No
TJ: ...hmm
Customer: It's like a tangy...
TJ: I'm sorry we don't have that.

TJ is a genius